Happy Pride everyone!  Last year MADNick and I shared part of our journey as a same-sex couple.  We discussed the importance of being visible and shared our fantastic wedding vows.  You can check out the post here:   https://madmike.net/pride-2020/

As we start to see life in the US and UK begin to return to normality, we will begin to see in person Pride events coming back.  Here in London, the celebration normally held in June has shifted to September, something Nick and I are looking forward to!

June is commonly celebrated as Pride Month in several countries.  As US ex-pats, June was an exciting time as it also coincided with major Supreme Court cases that gave us our civil liberties in several critical cases.  These cases protected our civil and marriage rights and allowed us to have full legal recognition in our home country and state.  These were giant steps, but there is still work to be done!

This year at work, I was asked to record a short video on “What does Pride mean to me?”  I wanted to take this opportunity to go into more detail and dive into ways to support the LGBTQ+ community.

Pride to me is both a celebration of life and a reflection on how we got here.  Something as simple as attending Pride and celebrating who I am was an illegal act until recent history, and is still banned in several countries.  Worse, we see several countries re-criminalizing free speech on the topic and outright attacking the several civil rights that were hard fought for.  It is a sobering reminder of why the fight for civil rights cannot take a break, and the sad reality that civil rights across the spectrum are a constant battle.  Minority groups are an easy target for many political groups, and hate can easily be used as a weapon to gain power and control.  Sadly, this tactic isn’t new and is repeated in some of the worst events in our world’s history.  We must all work to fight the good fight and support each other.

Here in the UK, Nick and I enjoy living where some studies show as high as 90% of the population supports Gay rights.  We can attest that this statistic, combined with living in a large and diverse city like London, has a very different feel.  In 2019 when we marched in the Pride Parade here in London, the streets were lined with friendly faces to celebrate together.  Families were just enjoying their time while supporting other friends and family, either present or afar.

Last year we talked about the importance of being visible and present as a gay couple. So when allies often ask about what they can do to show support, I think some of the best advice is to also be visible and present in your support.  This support can be little things like using preferred pronouns, casual conversation about spouses and partners, and a supportive voice in a conversation.

It is important to recognize that this can be very different and personal for many people.  We need to be mindful that some people live either “in the closest” or “passing” as someone other than their identity.  For some, Pride can be intensely emotional.  Many will have stories of only feeling accepted for the first time in society at a Pride event.  Others celebrate the moment, but then need to return to environments where they can’t.  As an ally, the best thing you can do is be consistent in your support, even when you think no one is watching.  The more you do it, the more normal it becomes in your conversation, and the more supportive you are.  Normalizing LGBTQ+ in your conversations will not only support those that are out & proud, but means even more to those that feel they need to be silent.

So, this Pride take some time to reflect on what has happened in the past and what you can do in the future.  Be an ally both when you are seen and not seen.

Finally, ensure that the LBGTQ+ people in your life know that you love them and care for them.  Never let them question your support of them living their lives for who they are.  It may seem “it goes without saying,” but some things need to be said.

If you know someone who is struggling with their sexuality, or you would like to learn how to be a LGBTQ+ ally, please visit https://www.thetrevorproject.org.